The Origins of Our Solar System

R. Nemo Hill

An Unfortunate Sequence of Events

 

It was completely random, the inquest later heard,
The pigeon should alight on the veranda.
Miranda slid the door and tried to grab hold of the bird,
Leaving in her wake her furry panda.
Mrs. Byrne was baking, when the incident occurred,
And rushed out to restrain the bold Miranda.

It was completely random, the inquest was advised,
She didn’t leave behind the kilo weight.
She nearly reached Miranda but was violently surprised
When the furry panda stopped her headlong gait.
And, as she crashed down to the floor, too late, she realised
The kilo weight was in a mobile state.

It was completely random, the inquest heard, the pass-
-Ing lorry should be just beneath the flat,
When the accidental missile came careering though the glass
And put a dent into the driver’s hat,
And in a reflex action, his left foot then hit the gas,
And the lorry took off like a scalded cat.

It was completely random, the coroner reported,
That, at the time the lorry lost control,
A tanker of plutonium (sent off to be exported)
Was trundling slowly past a grassy knoll.
And all the driver’s efforts to escape the crash were thwarted
As the inevitable collision took its toll.

It was completely random, the coroner decided,
The Pentagon came to the wrong conclusion.
Someone pressed the button and the warheads then were guided
To wreak the greatest havoc and confusion.
Of course, the nuclear pounding did not long remain one-sided
And soon the earth was only an illusion.

It was completely random, the coroner declared
And all the other angels nodded sadly.